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Parts of my mind in various lengths and forms being thrown onto a website for you to read

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Sometimes (like right now) I randomly remember that in elementary school I participated in a spelling bee and I was asked to spell “staple” and I got it right but the judge said I was wrong. I sat down and got off the stage, confused because I was sure I was right, and minutes later they realized I actually did spell it right. I recall the judge thinking the spelling was “S-T-A-P-E-L” before they were corrected

Forgot a lot about a dream but here’s what I remember

I saw a bunch of cats through the window to my backyard

I want to go see them up close so I try to go through the few doors to get to the backyard

I open one door and see the back of a big brown bear

I close the door before it notices me

I get to my room and call 911, and I remember being really nervous, saying “Oh my god there’s a bear, a brown bear, a grizzly bear”

I’ve thought this a couple of times but I don’t think I’ve ever said it out loud

I think that if I actually was an anthropomorphic cat like I always imagine myself to be, I would most likely want to be a photographer rather than an illustrator (like I could be either)

I draw myself in usually pretty basic and simple settings because that’s the most likely ones I’d find myself in in-person, wherever I am right now

Basically if I were cat irl, I would just be taking many photos of myself because I wanna appreciate myself in that form

Had a dream where I was in my backyard at night when I got stung in the wrist by a scorpion that had the color scheme of a crab. I remember being in that backyard and narrowly avoiding it previously but I don’t have much details about it. I was inside soon enough, annoyed at the sting, and I noticed the inside of the house had the lighting of the event of a hurricane. The power’s out, and only a lamp is providing light. I told my brother about the sting when I looked down and noticed my right arm was littered with scratches and even my skin was falling off. I was just confused more than panicked about the effects of the scorpion/crab thing but that still made me yell at him to take me to a doctor. He agrees and we get in a car. We make a few expected turns, but I feel us going left instead of a usual right and I ask him why we aren’t going to the doctor I expected us to. I do not remember his response. We end up stopping at a Target because my brother told me they have doctors there. The Target was way closer than any Targets that exist while I’m awake. I walk in and step in line for making an appointment at the doctor’s section and ai remember the line being really long. My dad then shows up, and he greets me, saying we haven’t seen each other in a while. I show him my right arm, which just has a whole area near my wrist that is missing skin, and he’s just shocked with fascination. I set my appointment and get my time in a huge envelope, Target themed and with other details as well. I sit down next to my brother in the waiting room and I am worried that it estimates five hours for my appointment to come up but he tells me that it’s gonna be less time than I think. I remember just looking up and seeing other people who had an appointment just walking around a comically huge aisle in the store. I also remember while waiting, I was watching a video of the Block Wars Minecraft event that recently took place (NOTE: Season 12) and seeing a contestant mention being glad that the furries placed low, and I remember it cutting to a clip SonicFox, who I am not even sure was part of the actual event, being struck by lighting in Minecraft while it showed them in dead last in the leaderboard of all the contestants. I unfortunately woke up before everything else continued.

I had a dream that I was playing a video game where every few bosses at the end of the level I had to fight Joker, and the gimmick of the fight is that you have to resize yourself to the right size in order to jump on him and deal damage to him. Joker would laugh at you and mock you for your size, acting like you can’t match it. The only battlefield I remember from various fights was a dimly lit alley, very orange light with brick walls

NOTE: I do not remember what kind of ‘Joker’ I was dreaming of. The two I have in mind (Persona and Batman) don’t feel like what I was dreaming of and that makes wonder if Joker is even an accurate recollection of the dream.

I was thinking and I just realized I used up all my overachieving workaholic energy in my middle school years. I am now falling behind in everything else today to make up for it and keep lofe

NOTE AS I ADD THIS ENTRY: This is exactly how I wrote this into my notebook. I do not remember how I wanted to finish that sentence.

Rule 6: Don’t underestimate the power of cleaning your glasses and shaving, it can do a lot for you.

UPDATE 2025-10:29: As of February 2025 I got laser eye surgery and don’t need glasses. And as I look back at this I wonder what only the shaving will do for me now. I think it might still do a good amount

I feel like my chances of being able to have good relations with someone go way down if they have an active Letterboxd account. That sort of issue is all on me, honestly, but I think that is how it is with me

Note to Self: Spite is a surprisingly good motivator for me sometimes

Regularly unlearning things I believe is a lot like deleting my search history, I just realized. Hopefully the disappearance of the thoughts is more real and working in my case, that is why I do it so much recently, after all

The only thing I remember from my dream last night (I think it’s the only thing that happened in the dream anyway) is I was sitting in the dining table with my brother and on his plate was a fuckton of fries. He had cooked them all himself, and he had convinced himself that even though most of them looked quite normal to me, a lot of them were actually burnt and wouldn’t be good to eat. I grabbed a fry and said this one not only looked fine, but in fact was beautiful but he responded, “No it is not!”

Liquidation.

That is the word that comes to mind right now. I don’t know what it means though, or if it even has anything to do with me

I had a dream where I was in Minecraft and someone forced me to complete a course, and it was a race against someone that had already started. There was proximity voice chat so I could hear voice. In this map you had to go up and up and up, and you would lose so much progress if you fell. I was given wooden planks to help me make jumps and I used them a lot to make sure I was safely getting through the course. One strange thing I witnessed as I jumped through the course was that there was a big block that I passed that had a window, and I saw someone crying while they broke blocks. I assumed this was opponent but I could not be sure. I was breezing through this course thinking I was gonna make it and be free to go until I notice that the very end of the course requires me to have a perfect amount of blocks to stack on each other in order to finish. I did not have anywhere close to enough blocks, and I could not break any other blocks besides the ones I placed down. I had to go all the way to the start of the extremely long course and break all blocks that were not necessary, and I understood completely why that other person was crying. I was doing what they had to do and it was terrible

My new hobby is being really into characters from media while never having consumed the media they are from (and usually not planning on doing so either)

Here is my current list of characters I am doing this with off the top of my head, so understand it is not complete:

  • Ralsei (Deltarune)
  • Sybil (Pseudoregalia)
  • Mae Borowski, Bea Santello (Night in the Woods)
  • That goober from Indigo Park
  • Niko (OneShot)
  • Fang (Goodbye Volcano High)
  • Aak (Arknights)

If my interest in these characters while not knowing anything about the source media bother you at all, I am sorry. I mean, love the fanart I have seen of them! I have just… not consumed the media they are from.

UPDATE 2024-05-28 01:55 PM: I just remembered one important addition and it is: Anything and everything Pokemon-related (I have not played anything Pokemon)

Okay so there is an osu! player that the community has been obsessing over named osu420. They started streaming on Twitch, streaming a whole 16 hours on their first stream and 100 people or so there to watch, it’s mad.

Today they became a Twitch affiliate!!! That means they are showing ads to people, people are able to subscribe to them and are making money streaming on this site. It’s incredible.

What this is about is that the entire time, you are not able to send any text chats. The chat is in emote only mode. When osu420 became affiliate, one thing you gained the ability to do is send bits. I initially sent a single bit because I thought it was funny to make one of the emotes I sent something I spent money on. Eventually during the stream, someone noticed that you could overpass emote only chat by donating a bit along with the message. People would be surprised and then use this to try to connect with them. A Twitch chat screenshot showing a few members able to send text chats in emote-only mode by attaching at least 1 bit emote (a grey triangle).

A Twitch chat screenshot showing a few members able to send text chats in emote-only mode by attaching at least 1 bit emote (a grey triangle).
Look at the triangles. That is people donating bits

They noticed eventually and would mitigate this by increasing the minimum bit donation to 10 bits, and then to 727 bits when people still sent text messages there.

It’s just fascinating

UPDATE 2024-06-09 10:19 PM: In today’s stream osu420 wanted to be nice and reduced the minimum bit donation to 69 bits, but someone dared and send a text message along with the bits, so they went out and increased the minimum bit donation to 3999 bits. It feels a lot like that meme about that guy in a square closed down, trying to open up, getting punched and then creating a thicker square, closing themselves off further.

I hope I did a good job cleaning out some of the depression in this page (this is for the few people who saw earlier iterations of this site)

Had a dream

I went to the shopping mall and I remember buying something but don’t remember what. Then I went out of a shop and noticed the floor was a downwards slope so I grabbed a shopping cart and hopped on it for a fun ride down from the top to the bottom until I stopped myself from hitting a wall, turned, and did it again. Then I went outside and noticed a marching band camp going on, and my old high school band director was conducting and giving directions. The shirts on the performers said something about “College prep band” or something like that. I walked past them and head to my car in the huge parking lot filled with white vans when one guy comes out of one and gets really sentimental about life, but just for like a second. Then I head into my car and start playing a Bed Wars game that lasted 57 hours, but I only experience the last few minutes where I am at a stalemate with a player at a base. I am above them on a huge pile of ladders (not Minecraft ladders but like, actual ladders) but they cannot hit me. I cannot get down however because I’m not super stable on the ladders and getting down and falling would make me vulnerable to getting hit and falling off, but I know the game has to end at some point so I make a run for it. I don’t even get to see the end of it when I am back in my car that I mentioned and a friend of that player that I played tells me what a weird time it was.

they should do a version of jeopardy where it’s “what the fuck is” and “who the fuck is” that people have to start their questions with, i think that’d be funny to me

Had a dream that I started working at Walmart. I don’t remember exactly how I got it but I remembered walking into a locker room for the employees with a solid black backpack, observing everyone else having black and blue backpacks I guess the store gave them. Walking through the room, I found the manager swimming…on the floor, submerged and all, and then noticing me, getting up, and introducing me to everything. The details afterwards become more of a blur but I remembered coming back the next day through the locker room and witnessing an argument of sorts

I came to the realization this week that I don’t even want to clear my Steam backlog, which the thought of living the rest of my life not playing the games I spent my money on initially gave me a feeling of regret, but now I must move on from the purchasing decisions I have made and accept that what’s been done is done.

I like the idea of making a Wikipedia fork that copies it 1:1 at first but then I add tons of ridiculous stuff to the articles.

Like, one article is the exact same as its counterpart but they add FUCKING before every FUCKING noun. Or like, the words are all listed in alphabetical order. Something cool like that

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